Alliterative Arses


Spending the amount of time that I do, driving on the M1 and around the M25, I tend see some terrible driving.

I may have mentioned this before.

Once.

On many occasions, the offenders tend to be young lads in VW Golfs, who think they own the road, but of course, I should mention that other vehicle owners are available.

For my own amusement, I have taken to calling these drivers alliterative names, as I see them transgressing the rules of the road and, indeed, general motoring etiquette.

“Git in a Golf”, is ubiquitously used, of course. “Fuckwit in a Focus” is also quite popular.

“Bastard in a Beemer” and “Arsehole in an Astra” crop up regularly, along with the occasional “Prick in a Prius”.

I was also quite pleased recently when I spotted a “Twat in a Twingo”.

Lorry drivers get away with “Lughead in a Lorry”, as that’s the best I could think of.

But, yesterday morning, I was astonished when several cars in front and around me had to brake suddenly to avoid an accident, as a small black Corsa cut across all four lanes at high speed, in an attempt to not miss the exit.

I struggled to come up with a suitably insulting name.

8 thoughts on “Alliterative Arses”

  1. I don’t think you really struggled.
    Not many words that begin with C . Maybe CHUMP.

  2. Never mind chumps in Corsas……how is the small furry one getting on ? More pics please.

    1. She’s doing OK, Frances.
      Getting bigger, costing a fortune and still getting me up halfway through the night!
      Still need to work on the house-training, but she’s getting there.

      I’ll post more pix soon.

  3. Hahaha! Culprit in a Corsa? Of course not. For a start, if you’re driving a Corsa in the first place then we’d be happy to c u next Tuesday.

    PS: For future reference: Rebel in a Range Rover. Otherwise, you’re roadkill 😉

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