Feb 25 2017

Close shave

Having a shave is a pain in the arse.

Which means that I’m probably doing it wrong.

I don’t enjoy shaving. It’s a bind. But I have to do it, because I’m not man enough to grow a beard and I don’t look good with stubble: less like David Beckham and rather more like a tramp on his first day out.

Over the years I’ve tried all different sorts of razors.

I’ve had a range of electric razors, but they are just never as good as a wet shave… despite Victor Kiam’s claims.

A few years ago, Philips brought out an electric shaver that could be used in the shower, giving the best of both worlds. I bought one of them too.

Load of rubbish.

Nothing beats the simplicity and closeness of a wet razor… and there are plenty of them on the market to choose from.

Over the years, I have vacillated between the two main protagonists, Gillette and Wilkinson Sword, as each bought out their latest multi-bladed, swivel-headed, contoured razor, costing stupid amounts of money.  And then I’d swap again, once I’d seen the extortionate price of the new blades.  Wilkinson Sword even brought one out that had 5 blades.

Five! The head was so big, it felt like shaving with the spine of a paperback book against your face!

And then there’s all the different soaps and creams that can be used to lather up the beard in readiness.

I remember buying a tiny, tiny little bottle of shaving OIL for 8 quid, after reading in a men’s magazine how this was the very bestest thing for a close shave. Didn’t seem to make any difference to me. At all.

I’ve tried creams and soaps and foams from all the different manufacturers, and they are all much of a muchness.

But, I’ve finally hit upon a winning formula (well, for me, anyway).

A Palmolive shave stick that costs 75 p from the chemist and some disposable Gillette razors that come in a pack of 8 and cost only a fiver when Sainsbury’s has them on offer.

Lasts me three months that lot does.

And my face is as soft as a baby’s shaved bum.


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    • Brennig on February 25, 2017 at 21:00

    Gillette twin-bladed razor, soap. From the first day I took the Queen’s shilling, that’s how I shaved, up until about two years ago, which is when I stopped.

      • Masher on February 26, 2017 at 06:50

      You still do your legs though, I take it?

        • Brennig on February 26, 2017 at 20:06

        Legs, testicles, armpit; yes, I still do them

          • Masher on February 26, 2017 at 20:26

          Just the one armpit?
          Only half French are you?

    • Frances on February 25, 2017 at 22:51

    My husband worked for Wilkinson Sword designing razors ( the handles not the blades) from 1974/79 in cramlington northumberland just after we were married!!

      • Masher on February 26, 2017 at 07:01

      I bet you were never short of a razor or two in your house then!

    • Dave on February 25, 2017 at 23:03

    I’m with you, I really can’t be arsed. I don’t want to go the full Old Man Steptoe look and did for a year or so have a goatee which I’d grown for a part I was playing. That was ok as I only had to shave about a third of my face which suited my lazy side. (Not the side with the beard on). I use a battery operated razor if I want a quick shave and a bit of pain. Wet shave when it’s important and I need to look like a member of the human race.

      • Masher on February 26, 2017 at 07:07

      Depends which member of the human race you want to look like, Dave.
      Having a wet shave isn’t going to make you look like Brian Blessed, for instance.
      And he’s a member.
      Just about.

    • Alan on February 26, 2017 at 10:06

    Not sure I want to know how you was able to make the comparison in your last comment.

      • Masher on February 26, 2017 at 11:27

      I think you have misconstrued what I was saying, Alan!

    • Toffeeapple on February 26, 2017 at 17:31

    Disposable razors clog up the planet as do discarded toothbrushes – what will be the solution to the problem?

      • Masher on February 26, 2017 at 19:05

      Laser razors and ultrasonic toothbrushes – I’ve seen them on Star Trek.

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