It’s bloody freezing!

And not just outside, where it is snowing again, but also inside the house, because we currently have no heating.

It isn’t broken though. We have a plumber in and he is doing a ‘powerflush’ on the heating system, cleaning all the crap out before we get a new boiler fitted.

Not only are all the radiators freezing cold, being flushed – as they are – with cold water, but we also have doors and windows open to facilitate the passing of mains cables and hosepipes into the garden.  Where it is snowing. And bloody freezing.

Mr plumber was supposed to do this job yesterday, but phoned in sick.  So, as the kids were bored and we no longer had a reason to stay in, I took them swimming, up to the new pool that has opened in town – you may have seen it on ITV’s Splash!

Being half term, it was packed in there – mainly with kids of all shapes, sizes and colours, but there was no sign of Tom Daley and his skimpy little trunks.

One teenage couple – I’d put them at only about 14 or 15 – spent most of their time just sitting on the side of the pool, feet in the water. One couldn’t help but notice them as they were constantly snogging. Not just little pecks, but full-on tongue down the throat stuff.

Twice I saw the lifeguard go over and speak to them and each time they would relent, but then carry on again about five minutes later.

Finally, the lifeguard had very stern words with them and they got up and left. Maybe to get a room. Or a cubicle.

But it reminded me of the time on holiday, when Mrs Masher and I were asked to leave the poolside over a complete misunderstanding.

I only asked her to toss me over a towel.