“I literally shit a brick”, said a colleague at work who is afraid of dogs, as he recounted the story of how his next door neighbour’s Alsation chased him up the garden path.
“You should have thrown the brick at it,” I said.
“That brick that you crapped out… you should have thrown it at the dog. Was it like a house brick?”
“No. There wasn’t any brick.”
“But you said that you literally shit a brick. Which means that you did actually pass a brick of some sort out of your backside. Have you still got it?”
“Don’t be stupid. I didn’t shit a brick of any kind. It’s just a saying.”
“So why did you say you ’literally’ shit a brick, if you didn’t? ‘Metaphorically’ or ‘Figuratively’ would have been more correct.”
“Fuck off, before I shove this soldering iron up your arse!”