Dear Mr Sainsbury,
Yep, it’s me again. I have a couple of things I’d like to whinge about, if you’ll indulge me for just a few minutes.
Of late, I’ve been working from home quite a bit and have made regular daily trips to your store to buy my lunch. Every day – EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. DAY – there has been somebody standing at the entrance, rattling a charity tin in my face as I walk in. Not the same person every day, but a different person, on behalf of a different charity. ”Would you like to help little children with leukaemia?” they ask as I pass by.
“No, thank you”, I say. Which of course, makes me sound really callous. But, of course, they don’t realise that the day before I was helping battered housewives and the day before that I was giving to the orphans and the day before that… All I want to do is to get myself a sandwich and a packet of crisps, for chris’sakes! I’m all for altruism, but this is getting silly. I have to make sure I have four quid on me each time I go: three for my lunch and one for that day’s charity mugger!
Secondly, those blokes you have in the car park, washing people’s cars: if you are going to insist upon having them there, can you not at least ensure that they have some sort of common sense? I drove in the other day, having just returned from getting my car valeted. As soon as I’d parked up, one of the blue-coated chaps was upon me. He looked at my gleaming car and asked me if I wanted it cleaned! What an idiot! But then, I suppose that’s why he is in your car park, cleaning cars and not at the local hospital performing delicate nuerosurgery.
Oh, and you never did get back to me regarding my brilliant idea for the Self Service tills.