Well, that’s all the Christmas shopping done.
I have to admit, that when I got married – all them years ago – the brobdingnagian task of choosing and buying Xmas gifts suddenly became far more lilliputian (look at me coming over all Jonathan Swift there!).
It was a hated weight lifted from my shoulders by someone far more suited to the task than myself. Yes, having breasts – it seems – better equips a person for the hours of drudgery involved in traipsing from shop to shop in search of that elusive “something different” to give to your loved ones.
Of course, Mrs Masher doesn’t do ALL of it (much to my chagrin). She refuses to go out and buy her own presents, but she does at least make me a list and that makes life so much easier.
And this year was the easiest ever: I shopped smarter and did it all online.
All of it.
Never even left the house.
And, if I can persuade her that all the little boxes stuffed under my desk in the study are actually for someone else, I reckon I might even manage to get her to wrap them for me.
Christmas present wrapping: something else again, that those with breasts seem to make a better job of. I mean, I’ve bought the paper and sticky tape, but if she wants her slippers to not look like they’ve been wrapped by a tramp who’s just finished his third bottle of meths, she’d really be better off wrapping them up herself.
Is that what breasts are for? Really? I thought the were for distracting me partway through a senten…
Sorry, where was I?
Oh yes.
Breasts.
I love breasts.
I haven’t been Christmas Shopping – I’d done it all but one present before November arrived. It’s not called Christmas Shopping if you do it before Christmas actually arrives. And I did the outstanding present on the internet last week. And that doesn’t count either – internet shopping.
Have I mentioned that I love breasts?
You seem to have done the sensible thing. I decided it wasn’t worth doing any as the world was ending. Luckily, and I can’t think why. but everybody is getting a book from Waterstones this year with my staff discount! Christmas shopping took 15 minutes. Phew!
Bren – Yes, I think you mentioned it. Once.
Dave – That’s a great idea… let’s hope your family aren’t going to get all Kindle’d up this year!
I hope you didn’t make her wrap her own pressies Masher! However, well done and it doesn’t matter how badly you wrap as long as you can’t see what’s inside. I reckon you blokes use that as an excuse ‘cos you can’t be arsed!
Nah, wrapped ‘em myself, in the end and they didn’t come out too bad at all: thank heavens for YouTube.