Women are great, aren’t they? I mean, you gotta love women, haven’t you? Especially if you are a bloke. Or a lesbian.
OK, they can have their bad points: they can be infuriating; annoying; irritating; exasperating; aggravating and maddening. But, on the whole, they’re still pretty OK.
But what I want to know, is why do they moult so much? Especially the long-haired variety. Why?
I used to go out with a girl who had beautiful, long, silky auburn hair. But whenever we’d go out somewhere in my car, I’d spend ages afterwards pulling long strands of hair from the Halfords luxury velour, African car seat cover on my passenger seat. Honestly, it looked like I was dating a Red Setter.
And the two women in my life now aren’t much better. Both have quite long hair and on both of them, it seems to fall out like they’re undergoing chemotherapy or something. Which of course, thankfully, they’re not.
Each weekend, I find myself pulling ropes of mangled and knotted hair from the bathroom plughole, all covered in soap and gunk. It’s quite gross.
In our spare bedroom – where we store all the junk and the DVDs and where I keep the bulk of my electronic components – there is a small dressing table with a little chair, where the girls sit and brush their hair. I’ll admit that it doesn’t get hoovered much in there, because there is so much crap, that you can hardly see the carpet sometimes. But, when I’m kneeling on the floor whilst searching through my component drawers for some transistor or other, when I stand up I’ll have legs like a yeti.
There is never any Sellotape in this house, because most of it goes on de-hair-ifying my trousers!
And women, of course, cost a fortune to look after and keep, don’t they?
It occurred to me that I could have a got a similarly hirsute effect just by getting an Afghan Hound.
It’d certainly be a lot cheaper.
Awww Mash, that made me laugh my head off. You really touched a nerve with this one. I f**king can’t bear hair (mine or otherwise) sticking to me. Which is why I never walk bare-footed. Especially around swimming pools. GROSS.
I have got long hair, but every morning after I have washed it, I spend a couple of minutes teasing out all the loose strands so that they don’t go on the floor.
My friend from Leeds has got loads of really thick red hair, and it litereally covers the bathroom floor when she comes to stay. And blocks the bleedin’ plughole so I have to do that gag-worthy excavation to which you refer. MINGING!
You’re right, women are lovely. If you know of any spares, do send them straight round.
Now how can you possibly substitute a woman with an Afghan? They’re not HALF as much fun! I have long hair that also falls out BUT probably at the same rate that yours does just that longer hair is more noticeable. Mens hair just gets embedded into the carpet like tiny splinters and I BELIEVE are the plug hole, filling culprits as the little blighters cling to the sides! AND what about shaving? What about all THOSE little hairs that stick around the sink refusing to disappear Eh EH!!!
Annie – so much in common! Should we ever meet, we’ll call each other ‘sister’ and lace daises in our hair… if we still have any.
Bren – Sorry sir, fresh out. Should hopefully have some in next Monday.
Juliette – Whoa there! I thought I had issues with hair, but you might need to speak to a hair therapist – we call them barbers down our way – to discuss your male-orientated chaetophobia.
And yes, you are right: dogs are fun but women have a couple of good points too.
Replied to your comment on mine.
No hair related comments to append.
Yo sista! Sounds like a plan!