Annoyance 1. I’d just bought some fish & chips and had just started to walk back home when my mobile rang. It was the current Mrs Masher. “Whilst you’re up there, could you pop into Sainsbury’s and get some milk… oh, and two bottles of Pepsi?” I turned round and headed back to the shops. Grrrrr
Annoyance 2. I stood at the ATM outside the supermarket. I say “ATM” singular because, although there were two machines, only one of them was working… of course. Grrr.
Annoyance 3. There was a small queue and I was next in line to use the machine, just waiting for the lady actually at the machine to get her money. The ATM made the usual beeping noise to alert her to remove her card and then it produced a slip of paper, which she looked at and tutted. Then she took a different card from her purse, placed it in the machine and tapped at the keypad. A few moments later, a ten pound note popped out along with her card, both of which she placed in her purse. And then she took out another card and went through the whole procedure again. The queue behind me now stretched to about 8 people. Now, I’m not annoyed at how this lady runs her finances – that’s not my concern – no, I’m annoyed because she chose to do it at six pm on a Friday night, when I was in a rush because my fish & chips were getting cold! Grrr!
Annoyance 4. I dashed my way through the supermarket, grabbing what I needed in just a couple of minutes. Each till had a huge queue and so I headed for the Self Service checkouts… which also had a queue. Oh well. The reason for the queue at the Self Service checkouts was because there were six tills and four of them were taken up by idiots trying to get a whole week’s worth of shopping through, with their trolleys blocking the aisle and far too many bags forced into a bagging area designed to hold only four pints of milk and a packet of chocolate digestives. Grrrrr.
Annoyance 5. Once I was finally out of the store, I strode purposefully across the car park toward the exit and home, only to be almost run over by a twat in a very old Volkswagen Passat who was driving too fast. I don’t call him a twat because his car was the most lurid shade of green that I’ve ever seen on a motor vehicle; neither do I call him twat because he nearly ran me over – reason enough to be administered that particular moniker, I would have thought – no, I call him a twat because, attached to the front of his lurid green automobile was a Comic Relief Red Nose. Except, it was no longer red. It was the nose with little hands, that came out – according Wikipedia – in 1999! Bleached white by the sun of fourteen summers, it was an eyesore on his eyesore of a car. Twat. Grrrrrrr!
Annoyance 6. Back home, I heated my dinner up in the microwave and plonked myself in front of the telly. There was fuck all on. Friday night peak viewing and the schedules were full of reality shows, soaps, dire comedy and repeats (or, as the BBC like to call it: “Another chance to see…”). I would have gone upstairs and read my book… if I hadn’t mislaid my reading glasses. Grrr.