Cleaned off the bird poo, what a pile
Looks much better, by a mile
Anthea Turner, she would smile
‘Cos I’ve cleaned the windows
Oui. Les fenêtres sont propres. Inside and out. It’s a job I hate, but it’s a job that needed doing. They were filthy and – as alluded to in my little George Formby-esque verse above – one of the upstairs ones had a huge dollop of bird crap on it from one of the pigeons (there’s a pair of the flying vermin that nest in our tree and if I had an air rifle…).
This all came about because Mrs M was in a Spring cleaning frenzy yesterday, flying round the house like a mad thing with hoovers and dusters and damp cloths and rubbish bags. She was making it very difficult for me to relax and enjoy my Star Wars box set. There was much harumphing and skunk eye sent my way as she huffed and puffed around me, and so I decided I’d best lend a hand. Because I’m good like that.
Along with everything else, I also cleaned some bird shit off the sofa.
Off the sofa?
Last weekend, whilst were out shopping in town, I got a phone call from our neighbour. “Your burglar alarm is going off”, he said. “I can’t see anything obvious outside. Do you want me to go in and check?” And so he did (I hasten to mention that he has a key – he didn’t have to break a window or anything). Ten minutes later, he rang back to tell me that he’d found the problem. “There’s a bird in your living room”. Somehow – and we’ve still not figured out how as all the windows were closed – a starling had got in the house. The neighbour managed to shoo it out through a window, but it had left a bit of a mess in the living room in its attempts to get out. I thought I’d managed to clean up all the crap it left behind – mainly on the window sill – but I’d obviously missed the bit that went down the side of the sofa.
Anyway, the sofa was now clean and between us, the house was done top to bottom and we were both knackered at the end of it.
At the kids’ insistence, we all sat down to watch Karate Kid on the telly.
Both Mrs M and I fell asleep.
Wax on… wax off… wax on… wax off… wax on…