Jan 07 2011

McNight out

I went out for a few drinks last night with some of my old BT chums.

Actually, I had more than a few… as my head was testament to this morning.

And on a school night too, shocking!

Having quaffed a fair bit of lager, I was up for a kebab on the way home, in fact, I was famished. But there wasn’t time, we had a train to catch. Apparently.

So, I was mightily pleased when I stepped off the train, to see the local McDonalds proudly displaying a large sign proclaiming that its Drive Thru (sic) was open till 1am. Excellent, it was only 12:30 and so I had plenty of time to get something to eat.

I walked up to the window and knocked. The young chap inside looked at me quizzically. I held up a two-pound coin for him to see. “I’d like a cheeseburger, please”, I said.

“Are you in a car?” he rather stupidly asked, looking at me standing there.

“No.” I said, brightly. “Can I have a cheeseburger, please?”

He shook his head. “I can’t serve you unless you’re in a car”.

“But I’ve been drinking”, I explained. “It would be foolish of me to drive in my current condition. Can I have a cheeseburger? Please.”

“No. I can’t serve you unless you’re in a car.” And with that he walked away.

I tapped on the window with my two-pound coin, to get his attention. “This is ridiculous! It’s… it’s… it’s pedestrian prejudice! I only want a CHEESEBURGER for chris’sakes!”

But he continued to ignore me and so I gave up and walked home… after giving him a particularly hard stare through the window.

By the time I got home, it was nearly 1am, but, tired as I was, I grabbed some breakfast cereal and sat down in front of the computer. Shortly, I was on the McDonalds website, where I sent them a scathing online contact form, moaning about my treatment at the hands of Johnny No-Stars in our local restaurant.

Well, I think it was scathing… I can’t really remember.


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  1. Dave

    Well, the company must have pulled all their resources in to answer your missive because the McD at Surbiton took 12 minutes to cook my burger!

  2. Masher

    I’ve yet to receive a Mcreply to my Mcmissive, Dave.

    12 minutes? That’s taking ‘fast’ food to a new height.

  3. Brennig

    That’s quite a bonkers rule, I’ve seen video of a traveller riding up to a McD’s drive-thru (sic) on a skewbald pony and ordering food. And when I say ‘food’ I mean indigestible offal and dog’s droppings.

  4. Masher

    I’ve heard tale of others being served.
    Maybe I looked a bit menacing, standing there shivering and brandishing a dangerous looking coin.

  5. Dave

    I’ve walked through a drive in before and got served. It’s definitely you they don’t like.

    At least Surbiton got it right. I’ve waited 10 minutes at Brentford for an egg mcmuffin with no cheese to get outside to find cheese on it!

  6. Annie (Lady M) x

    I nearly spewed out my coffee laughing you loon. It was the image of you swaying in front of the drive-thru window accusing johnny no-stars of pedestrian predjudice. Brilliant!

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