Amelia has been scratching her head a lot today.  It was obvious that she had nits. Again.
Fortunately, we found ourselves at my sister’s house this afternoon and she is an expert on on the little beasties.
She treated and combed Amelia’s hair through, revealing lots of the nasty little buggers.
“With this many in her hair”, she [...]

… but more ‘in health’.
Mrs M is ill again.
Following her recent tonsillectomy, her throat has developed a severe infection and she now looks, sounds and feels ten times worse than she did just two hours after the operation.
I think she feels I’m not being very sympathetic. Which I am.  But, at the same time, I’m [...]

There are some flats up for sale in town. New flats, they are. But they’re not just new, oh no, they’re “Luxury”.
Everywhere you look, there are brand new ‘luxury’ flats for sale.
Just what makes them so luxurious? Are the walls lined with red velvet? Are the taps in the bathroom cast from solid gold? Does [...]

I was thinking earlier about death. There seems to be a lot of it about at the moment. I’m also aware that I’ve written of it several times recently.
It’s not a nice thing to think about, obviously, but it’s something that we all do at some point, I’m sure: ponder our own mortality. Because, let’s [...]

As the weather has been decidedly milder this week, I decided this morning that I would go to work on my bike.
I got the kids off to school and nursery then turned home to get my bike out. Then, apropos of nothing, I changed my mind. For no reason. Just like a woman: it was [...]

…well, what counts for normal round here, anyway.
Last week, my car interior was kept gloriously tidy all week. The house was also tidy and quiet. The motorways were a joy to drive on - my normal two-hour journey only taking half as long.
But this week, the kids are back from holiday and back at school. [...]

Having seen a ribbon bedecked Rolls Royce whilst driving through town yesterday and having it explained to her that it was a wedding car, Amelia took a strong interest in Mummy and Daddy’s wedding car, but couldn’t understand why it was an old one (vintage my dear, vintage).
So, this morning, Mrs M dug out our [...]

As the weather was decidedly mild and bright this afternoon, I chose to take my bike out for a spin, to blow the cobwebs out.
As I was getting ready in the garage, the kids came in. “Wanna come for a ride on daddy’s bike?” I asked - a question that normally causes them to run [...]

“I know you” said the lady behind the till.
“Yes, I was in here last week” I said.
“No. I mean I recognised you. You come in here every Friday morning for your breakfast and it’s been bugging me for weeks because I couldn’t think where I know you from.”
“Oh, okay” I said, somewhat mystified.
“I was telling [...]

I am - it must be said -  a bit stiff today.
Actually, If I’m honest, I ache like fuck.
I played squash last night, for the first time in several years.
God, it was hard work. My timing was way out and dragging my fat, lardy arse around the court slowed me down, somewhat.
But overall, I was [...]

Years ago (Pre Mrs Masher (PMM)), I went to Russia.
I was on holiday with The Girlfriend At That Time (TGATT), in Moscow.
Our hotel wasn’t far from the Bolshoi Theatre and TGATT noticed that the Bolshoi Ballet Company were putting on a show of Chekov’s The Seagull.
“Oh, let’s go,” she said, “I’ve always wanted to go [...]

I came home to a tidy and silent house.
I poured myself a glass of wine and put some Frank on whilst I went through my emails.
And then I had an idea: ‘er indoors has been on about re-decorating the bedroom. This would be a perfect opportunity, with everyone out of the way.
I swapped Frank out [...]

Sort of.
Faced with the prospect of going stir-crazy, stuck at home with the kids during this half-term week, Mrs Masher booked us all into a holiday park down on the south coast.
However, I am currently so busy at work that I couldn’t go, so she has bundled the kids and her bruised foot into the [...]

BEEDLE-EEDLE-EEDLE-EEP
BEEDLE-EEDLE-EEDLE-EEP
I rolled over and hit the snooze button.
BEEDLE-EEDLE-EEDLE-EEP
I cocked an eye open and looked at the time. It was only two o’clock.
I picked up the phone and answered it’s stupid ringing tone with a bleary “Hello?”
“Can you open the front door please, ” came the unexpected voice of Mrs Masher, “I haven’t got my keys.”
“Where [...]

As I stated here last year, the current Mrs Masher and I don’t do the Valentine’s Day thing.
And yet, every year when it comes around, I feel that I SHOULD be buying her something. Because everyone else is doing it (buying gifts for their loved ones that is, not for Mrs M).
For some reason, I [...]

There is a communal fridge in our kitchen area, here in the office.
There is an unwritten rule regarding this fridge: you DON’T touch other people’s stuff. And that rule seems to be generally abided by - although I’ve occasionally noticed my own milk stocks decreasing quicker than they should over the course of a week. [...]

With apologies to Alex Haley.
It occured to me today, as I drove to work, just how ridiculous the journey is, that I take.
Since the motorway widening scheme finished in December, the M1 section down to the M25 has been a joy to drive on. Most of the time.
Actually getting to the M1, not so joyful.
The [...]

One of the Section Officers in our division, Kevin, was known for being a bit of a maverick: doing things his way; breaking the rules; looking for trouble. And he loved it.
I’d only been in the force for a few months and I was paired up with him one Saturday for a Luton V Arsenal [...]

I was supposed to be in court this week.  Not for any offence that I’ve committed  - they’ll never pin that on me, anyway - but on jury service.
Twice I received letters from the Coroner’s Court asking me to confirm that I was available to attend this week and then, last week, I got a [...]

The wife cooked up a wonderful Sunday dinner yesterday evening.
But this wasn’t just a dinner: this was an M&S dinner.
Our cupboards currently resemble those of Old Mother Hubbard as the supermarket has been unable to deliver due to the two inches of snow that remain outside on our road.
As such, the wife called into the [...]

I took the kids swimming this morning.
The outside pools were frozen over so we gave them a miss this time and headed indoors.
As we splashed and played in the kiddie pool, Amelia suddenly complained that she’d hurt her foot. I carried her out of the pool and had a look. It was difficult to see [...]

… are always the first to go.
In these days of credit crunchiness, there is much belt-tightening going on across the land.  One area that has probably been hit quite hard is charities: people having less spare cash to spend on others outside of their own family.  Things are no different at Chez Masher.
For a very [...]

The snow continues and the schools remain closed, but as the wife is at home now, that left me free to go to work. Hurrah!
It was a pretty horrendous journey - horrendous in the sense of sitting in miles of traffic, inching past yet another lorry that has got stuck on the slightest of inclines. [...]

Was up bright and early this morning in order to take the current Mrs Masher to hospital so she can have her errant tonsils removed.
Looking out the window, I noticed we’d had another heavy snowfall in the night.
Arse.
A quick online check confirmed that all the schools were closed. Again.
Arse.
I bundled the kids into the car [...]

As you may know, the 1911 Census is now online.
I was sent two copies of the census, filled in by my great grandfathers on both my paternal grandfather’s side and my paternal grandmother’s side: the Ashbys and the Northrupts.
It’s nice to see that I come from good stock: my dad’s dad’s dad was a rag [...]

I’m gonna talk about the weather again. Because I’m British.
Once again, I got in this morning with no problems. A couple of minor accidents slowed me down, but not much.
People just need to drive a bit slower in these conditions; can’t they understand that?
Driving down the main Hemel dual carriageway this morning, toward the Magic [...]

Yep, it’s pretty white out there.  White and pretty.
I ummed and ahhed about going into work today, but thought I should at least try to get there.  And get there I did. Quite easily, in fact.
Normally, if two snowflakes fall on the M1, it grinds to a halt and the rest of the surrounding road [...]

Well, it’s now February: the month where I traditionally - well, for the last couple of years, at least - carry out my self-imposed challenge of posting a blog entry every day for the whole month.
You may have noticed the lack of posts from me over the past couple of weeks and some of you [...]