Of course, Countdown won’t be the same without Carol and the Vordermen. But I’m sure she’ll do OK, and it’s not like she needs the dosh: she’s done quite well out of the show. And if things do turn out badly, I’m sure she knows that the best thing to do is get a loan [...]

I took the kids swimming yesterday.
As I sat on the steps of the baby pool - water up to my waist - I was suddenly set upon by a five-year old child. Not my own - who was happily splashing about with her brother - but a boy who suddenly jumped onto my knee, stared [...]

Yesterday was possibly my last train journey into London for a while. The job I’ve been working on is just about complete and so next week I start a new one… but it’s not in London.
I’ll miss the train journey… to some degree. It can be a pain in the backside when they run late [...]

I got fined twenty quid on the train t’other day.
The ticket inspector came round. I showed him my weekly ticket. “Can I see your photo ID card as well please, sir?” he asked. He couldn’t see it as I’d lost it a couple of months back. Dozens of ticket inspectors had viewed my ticket since [...]

I see the authorities have at last caught up with Former Bosnian Serb leader Radovan Karadzic.
They’ve been looking for him for thirteen years.
Indicted for the slaughter of thousands of Bosnian Croats, ‘Europe’s Most Wanted Man’ has been in hiding with a very simple disguise.
It seems he was living on Craggy Island all the time.
Who’d have [...]

I was checking my search engine referrals earlier.
It amazes me just what some people will type into Google. It amazes me further that they manage to arrive at my site as a result!
The two most humourous ones from this month’s listings are:
“A picture of bucking hand palace” (sic)
and
“Naked photos of homo eunuchs”
I’m sure that when [...]

Mrs Masher’s car has been playing up for the last couple of weeks - keeps cutting out and losing power randomly.
And so she has booked it into the local dealer for them to look at it.
‘Looking at it’ starts with a 50 quid charge for plugging in an analyser - which supposedly tells the mechanic [...]

Today was my daughter Amelia’s School Sports Day.
She won the egg & spoon race - so, a possible contender for 2012, methinks! OK then, maybe 2024.
I also learnt today that she is her best friend’s ‘buddy’.  Her best friend - Katie - has a rare condition. I’m not exactly sure what it is… something to [...]

“We don’t need no education…” Pink Floyd famously sang. But, ignoring the irony of the double negative in that well-sung line, I find myself thinking completely the opposite.
There’s much in the papers these days about the declining standards of education in our schools. As my own children haven’t started ‘big’ school yet, it’s difficult for [...]

I returned to work today, following a few days off to look after the recuperating Mrs Masher.
It seems I picked the wettest of days to return. By the time I reached the station and boarded the train I was - it has to be said - somewhat moist. I tucked my waterproofs behind a seat [...]

Mrs Masher is to be released from hospital later this afternoon.
I’m pleased: the washing-up pile is starting to get a bit high now.

As I write this, my wife is hopefully sound asleep in bed. In hospital. In the maternity ward.
“OK, how does he do it?” I hear you ask, “After two vasectomies, as well.”
Fear not. Mrs Masher is not with child, but was admitted to hospital last night with a case of quinsy. She had a minor [...]

So, once again Tim Henman crashes out of Wimbledon in the second week.
And this time he was only commentating!

“Oh shit!” I said, as I went into my study this morning to sit down at the computer.
There, propped up against the monitor, was a card in an envelope. With my name on it.
My mind quickly raced through the possibilities:
Birthday? No.
Christmas? Don’t be daft!
Valentines Day? Don’t do that.
Wedding Anniversary? What’s the date? It’s July first. [...]