Well, here we are with the final post of this month… Blog-a-day month.
It’s strange, but as in recent years, although it’s a relief to get to the end of the month, it’s also quite difficult to stop posting. I have to force myself not to continue posting daily for the first week in March, and [...]

A couple of years ago I had my wallet nicked at work.
I suspected the cleaner as she had the opportunity… and the motive: well, she looked a bit iffy.
Some time later, we noticed money going missing from our Tea Club tin, which was hidden at the back of a filing cabinet drawer. Not large sums [...]

Some years ago - OK, it’s probably about twenty - I became known, it seems, to some people within BT, as “That bloke who can jump on benches.”
A strange epithet, to be sure. I’ll explain: the work benches we had at BT, were very sturdy wooden ones that stood about 3 feet high. Somehow, [...]

I’ve never had the neatest of handwriting and nowadays - like many others of my generation and younger - I’m far more used to typing out letters and other missives on the computer. And generally, I prefer to do so.
However, I’m not the fastest of typists either. I did try learning to touch-type a few [...]

When I was looking to buy a domain name, about seven years ago, my initial choice of masher.com had already been taken by someone in the states, and so I settled for the .co.uk version. It annoyed me slightly, as I kept my eye on the .com site for a long time, but nothing was [...]

I mentioned on these hallowed pages last year that we’d recently had a water meter fitted, and that subsequently, this would allow me to be charged a much fairer amount for the water that we actually used, as opposed to a fixed sum based on the rateable value of the house.
I was verbally lambasted by [...]

I got lost yesterday, trying to find my way out of the hospital.
I passed a department marked Nuclear Medicine. As I did so, two young women breezed through the big double doors, their white coats swishing behind them.
“Try switching it off and then back on again.” said one.
“I already have,” said the other, “but it [...]

I have just returned from the hospital, where I have been to see a man with very warm hands.
I have been to see a urologist who will try to discover why - over a year after my vasectomy - I am still pushing out live baby batter.
He had a good old prod and feel around [...]

This week, I have mainly been working in Lewisham - or as it is known colloquially to some: “The Sham”.
It occurred to me a little while ago, that it was possible to get from home to Lewisham, on the train, completely free.
If I had the balls to do it.
See, I’m a bit straight-laced, me. Although, [...]

I’ve just caught a repeat (I think) of Kill It Cook It Eat It, on BBC3.
This one showed baby lambs - some only two weeks old - being slaughtered, butchered and cooked before ending up on a plate for the studio audience to devour.
It was very graphic, showing the whole slaughtering process, from where [...]

“Well, that’s just fucking great,” said Mrs Masher, from the kitchen, as I walked in the door from work, “I think you’ve broken it.”
“Hello to you too, darling” I said, slightly mystified by her outburst. “What are you on about?”
“The washing machine. You fitted the new sink yesterday and now the bloody washing machine won’t [...]

We bought a new sink and taps for the kitchen. And so yesterday, I thought I’d fit them. Can’t be too difficult, can it?
Mrs Masher took the nippers out for a couple of hours, to allow me to wreak havoc.
I turned the water off at the respective hot and cold stopcocks, and opened all the [...]

We’d gone to buy a few essentials at the little shop in Center Parcs and were standing in the queue, waiting to pay. In front of us stood a woman with her young daughter of about 6 or 7 years. They reached the till.
“This is Gwen”, said the woman said to the young cashier, her [...]

During last year’s February blogathon, I sneaked out of class when you weren’t looking, leaving my mate Graham to post my pre-written missives whilst I went on holiday.
And I’ve just done it again, I’m afraid.
We’ve just returned from a week in Center Parcs in Longleat.  And I must say, we had a great time. Certainly, [...]

I have a bit of a reputation as a slow driver. Personally, I don’t consider that to be the case and prefer to think of myself more as a careful driver, considerate to other road users.
I’ll readily admit that I don’t really like driving in London, as you have to adopt an aggressive driving stance, [...]

I don’t do Valentines Day.
I used to, when I was younger. And more romantic.
I used to enjoy the ‘having a secret admirer in the office’ thing (who wouldn’t?) and splashing out (ooer, missus) on whichever girlfriend I was trying to impress at the time.
But the current Mrs Masher and I, are a bit long in [...]

I was driving home from town a little while back, when I saw my mate Steve standing at the bus stop.
It was absolutely pissing down with rain, and he was trying to shelter under a half-folded newspaper.
I pulled over and wound the window down. He didn’t see me at first as he was in deep [...]

Seated on the train, going to work, the other day, a chap came and sat next to me.
He was a biggish fellow, but not so big that he couldn’t get himself into the seat if he pulled himself in a bit. However, he was a seat bully. He sat on the seat and immediately did [...]

Everyone says how gorgeous my daughter’s hair is.
Actually, that’s not true - only women say it. Not once has a man said to me “Oh, hasn’t she got gorgeous hair!” And frankly, I’m quite pleased about that.
Women, however, just seem to stumble over themselves in searching for superlatives: “… gorgeous”, “… beautiful”, “… adorable”. I’ve [...]

Something that happens to most married men at some point, I suppose.
In my case it was last night, and because my daughter wasn’t feeling too well and wanted to sleep with her mummy. So, I slept in the spare room.
Y’know when you lie down to sleep sometimes and you hear a dull thrumming sound - [...]

There is a programme currently showing on BBC1 on Saturday nights, called The One And Only. It’s a version of ITV’s Stars In Their Eyes.
I never watched Stars In Their Eyes and I’m not watching this latest incarnation. It’s dull TV: people wanting their fifteen minutes of fame by standing in front of a studio [...]

Mrs Masher was at the sink the other day - a rare occurance - trying in vain to clean the grill pan, which had been allowed to fester for longer than it should. Washing-up liquid and a wet dishcloth just wasn’t doing the job.
“I need a little scrubber,” she complained.
I won’t mention my reply, but [...]

I was in Subway yesterday, getting my lunch.
There were two people in front of me, in the queue.
The chap at the front was being served and he asked “Can I get some mayonnaise with that, please?”
The lady behind him, on similar lines, asked “Can I get a coffee as well, please?”
What’s all this “Can I [...]

Now listen up, ‘cos this is interesting.
This week sees the start of IPv6 addressing being introduced to the ‘net’.
It’s all very exciting.
You see, under the existing IPv4 system, the 32 bit address notation is in the form of 4 groups (octets) of 2 or 3 decimal digits, such as 64.233.167.104 - you’ve all seen them. [...]

I went to see the nurse yesterday, to have my stitches out.
Whilst there, I thought I’d get my holiday vaccinations up-to-date, in readiness.
Because you never know.
So, Hepatitus A in one arm, Tetanus, Polio and Diphtheria in the other.
Ouch, bloody ouch!
I am a walking, talking culture dish.
Also: it’s Shrove Tuesday and following today’s pancake making antics [...]

OK, not much of a post, but I’m hoping you guys might be able to help me out a little.
Sometimes I find I am unable to access this site. It only lasts for a few minutes, but during that time all I get is a Page Unavailable message. Then it comes back, just like nothing [...]

My journey home from the leaving bash was pretty uneventful, save for one thing.
It was about half-past midnight as I - and several others - stood at the station waiting for the train to arrive. Inevitably, it was late. Delays, even at that time of night!
Our silent reverie was suddenly broken, as four young [...]

Last night, I went to the leaving do of a couple of my old BT chums.
It was this: most excellent.
It was great seeing many of my old colleagues - some of whom I hadn’t seen in fifteen years or more. In fact, it’s been so long that in some cases even though I recognised the [...]