… and ya didn’t even miss me.
I’ve been on holiday. As a sort of birthday present for ‘er indoors, I took the wife and kids to Fuerteventura for a week. It was all arranged at short notice, but we’ve had a good time and have come home to Blighty with a bit of a tan. [...]

I wrote this last year, but felt it worth posting again, so I’ve updated it. Slightly.
I’ve always been a big fan of comedy: whether it be films; sitcoms; books; radio or stand-up and I have a large collection of books and tapes that I have amassed over the years.
I cut my comedy teeth when I [...]

I went out with this girl once. She was very, very into art and dragged me round lots of art galleries. So many that I grew to hate most of it. But, as a young man, you’ll put up  with most things if there is a chance of getting your leg over. So, I traipsed around [...]

I was told many years - and several girlfriends - ago, that I have the proverbial two left feet when I’m on the dancefloor.
Subsequent girlfriends - and indeed, the current Mrs Masher - have all tried to teach me various dances over the years. But to little avail. With the exceptions of The Jingo and [...]

“I wish I had breasts” I found myself thinking earlier this week.
I was standing at the bar trying vainly to catch the attention of a member of the bar staff. All around me, young girls were plonking their hefty bosoms onto the counter and were immediately being served. Even the less well-endowed of these girlies [...]

I remember posting here a couple of years back, about an ad I saw in the local paper whilst waiting in the chip shop:
“Suicide Bomber Jacket for sale, only worn once - £80″.  I rubbed my eyes and read it again “Suede Bomber Jacket for Sale, only worn once…”
I found myself in the chip shop recently [...]

Talking to someone the other day, I was reminded of the time I almost got nicked for chasing Bugs Bunny.
It was about 8 o’clock, it was dark and I was on my way home from college. I was the only vehicle on the road as I took the shortcut through the industrial estate. As I [...]

Christina Aguilera came to our discussion group last night.
We couldn’t have been more surprised: we’d invited her several times before and never even received a reply. And today she just suddenly turned up; un-announced.
It was probably tonight’s topic of conversation that finally persuaded her to make the effort: Medieval English Fiction And Its Causal Effect On [...]

Having the last two-months off work would be quite relaxing, I’d have thought, but with the wife moving over to doing night-shifts I’ve become totally responsible for the children while she sleeps during the day. And I don’t mind admitting, I’ve found it difficult. A four-year old (almost) and a two-year old can be a [...]

Well, the new pooter is built and is up and running.
It diidn’t take long - a couple of hours to build and a couple more to install the OS and drivers and AV software. For some reason I can’t get any sound out of it, but I think that’s a problem with the driver disc [...]

It took two-score years to get here and I knew it was coming, but it still nearly caught me out.
Today is Mrs Masher’s 40th birthday.
I kept thinking I had plenty of time, but before I knew it, it was only a week away and I hadn’t arranged anything.
She told me a long time ago that [...]

I was watching some kids play in the park today, when I found myself wondering why it is that a frisbee looks bigger the nearer it gets to you.
And then it hit me.

There will be no post here today as I am spending far too much time trying to get this damn computer working proper like.
I need to build a new one really. I have all the bits - bought ‘em before Christmas - but just haven’t found the time to sit down and rebuild the bugger. [...]

I gave blood today. Just for a change.
I’ve been invited to an award ceremony (not sure when it is) for reaching 500 points. Blood donors get a point for each pint they donate. Platelet donors (such as myself) get 2 points for each pint… something to do with each donation being a “double-dose” - [...]

Innit typical? Following my BLC (Big Loft Clearout), where I threw away lots of computery stuff from Geekers Corner - including several power supplies - my sister’s computer died this week and it turned out to be… the power supply. Luckily, I’d had the forethought to not throw out ALL of them, but had kept [...]

I mentioned a couple of posts ago how the wife and I have spent several days tranferring our entire CD collection onto hard drive.
That’s not strictly true. It’s not the entire collection.
I found, as I was sifting through them, quite a few discs that I just haven’t played for years. Some were - when I [...]

A radio discussion on culinary disasters, yesterday, reminded me of the following and although I’ve posted it here before, a couple of years back, I think it’s worth mentioning again:
Several World Cups ago (I forget how many exactly), my parents had gone away on holiday, and I invited a mate, Paul, round to watch the [...]

I’ve always been quite into Hi Fi equipment and over the years I’ve spent a pretty penny or two on the stuff. I’ve never considered myself an audiophile as such, but I’ve always wanted a pretty good sound from my system and have spent money on it accordingly. Not stupid money, but a decent amount [...]

Being “a man of leisure” - as people now keep referring to me (actually, I find I’m working just as hard… it’s just different work and I’m not getting paid for it), I’ve found myself spending far too much time lately, in places like Ikea: I have become a master of the flat-pack assembly. I [...]

Well, I managed to find a carrot for his nose, that was easy enough, but two lumps of coal for his eyes? Not a hope: we’re all gas. Milkshake bottle tops served just as well.
Of course, although it was Amelia’s idea to build a snowman, she lost interest after about ten minutes. So, this is [...]

I had to fill in a form today. It was nothing important; just an online application for a camera magazine.
The final question asked about employment status.
For the first time in my life, I ticked the box marked “Unemployed”.
I sniggered as I did so, but it really didn’t feel good.
Listening to the local radio station yesterday, [...]

Well, this will work, won’t it?
Not sure John Reid has quite figured out how this new-fangled internet thing works. “An email address isn’t your National Insurance number, John! It will take someone all of two minutes to set a new one up!”
Get a grip.
I was in town yesterday, looking for a new pair of trousers. [...]

The wife has been selling some bits and pieces on eBay recently and has had to make numerous trips to post all the items off.
The small Post Office just round the corner from us, closed down some months back - a victim of the GPO’s money saving scheme to close down hundreds of rural offices [...]

Much of Sunday was spent sorting out yet more junk from the loft. I have thrown away loads of stuff from there already - as mentioned on here before - in the “Big Clean-Up”, but there is still a lot more to go yet. But I’ve reached the stage where, what’s left needs to be [...]

It was also about this time last year, that I started my year-long experiment to see how manky my hair would get if I stopped using shampoo and washed it solely in water.
In truth, I had never intended it to last a whole year: but just long enough to prove the point one way or [...]

I gave blood yesterday.
I was a little disconcerted on arrival, to see that the nurse who would be dealing with me would be Julie (name changed).
I have nothing against Julie, she’s a lovely lady and has worked at the donor centre for many years.
She’s just a bit… well, quick, on the needle, that’s all.
Whilst the [...]

The kids were downstairs in front of the telly.
The wife was upstairs having a lie-in after working a late shift last night, and it was time to wake her up.
I sneaked upstairs into the bedroom, pulled the duvet off, and started to wake the wife in a manner that married, consenting adults are sometimes prone [...]

Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my mother’s death. It’s a day that I know my sisters and my father struggle with.
But, for me, it just came and went. It was a day like any other.
It’s not a case of me loving mum any less than they did, because that wouldn’t be true. It’s not [...]