… I’m home!
Well, we’ve had a wonderful time down in French France. The weather has been tremendous (read: hot) and we’ve had a lot of fun. I believe you had a spot of rain here last week?
I have spent much of my first day back, unloading the car and shovelling all the shit out [...]

This post comes to you from the French Riviera, where the current Mrs M and I are having a bit of a holiday. Of course, the mini-Mashers are with us as well. And it makes a nice change from bloody Manchester!
We decided - for some unknown reason - to drive all the way here. So, [...]

Amelia had a day out in London last week, having accompanied her best friend on one of her routine visits to Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital. From there, they went to visit Buckingham Palace -which is once again open to tourists.  She returned home with her Buckingham Palace carrier bag, full of pamphlets and books, [...]

Seated at my PC earlier, I noticed a letter in the waste paper basket next to the desk.
Crumpled up, even as it was, I saw that it was from the local council. And I could see that it was addressed to the current Mrs Masher. And I could also see the word ’sex’.
Intrigued, I fished [...]

It’s 2.30. In the morning.
I awoke an hour and a half ago to the sound of gentle sobbing coming from Harry’s bedroom. I went in and found he had fallen out of bed and was lying in a crumpled heap on the floor. I lifted him back in to bed and pulled his covers over [...]

Up and down the country, England flags are flying at half-mast - or being torn down in disgust - because our brave lads the bunch of useless, overpaid tossers that we call the England football team, have once again rolled over and died before our greatest footballing foe: Germany.
It wouldn’t have been so bad, had [...]

I’ve taken a few days off work this week and, as the sun was shining brightly in the sky yesterday, we decided to spend a small fortune at Chessington - World of Adventure - it’s in a field, just outside Esher.
Having now experienced its delights, I [...]

My Virgin Media bill flopped onto the doormat this morning.
I casually ripped the envelope open and perused the three page statement inside. It’s normally about 55 to 60 quid. But I was a bit shocked to see this month’s bill was over 90 English pounds!
A quick check through the details showed that Harry was the [...]

I took the kids to school on Monday morning. En-route I stopped to pick up Amelia’s best friend, Katie.
As we drove along the girls started singing a playground song:
“Alison and Thomas sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g”
They laughed and I laughed along with them.
“We know another song, Daddy” said Amelia. I asked them to sing it.
“Alison [...]

It’s been a quiet week here. Well, you could be forgiven for thinking so, based on the number of posts I’ve made lately: ie. zero.
But things have happened:
I’ve finished decorating the study. Almost. It’s just the little things that are outstanding: lampshades; pictures on the wall; books back on the shelves; four external hard drives [...]

Mrs M has taken herself and the mini Mashers off on holiday.
They’ve gone to France to spend a few days at EuroDisney before heading further south.
They haven’t gone on their own though: Amelia’s best friend’s family have gone as well. All except the dad… who, like me, has to work.
Can’t say I fancied EuroDisney much, [...]

Amelia has her uniform now for Beavers. And with it, came a host of badges to sew on - I have no idea what the collective noun for badges is.
Mrs M had already left for work and I was putting the kids to bed, when Amelia reminded me that the badges needed sewing on. By [...]

Due to her working at the weekends, it’s rare that the current Mrs Masher gets to spend any quality time with us (holidays aside, of course).
But she has taken this week off work, due to the school half-term holidays, and that means we get the weekend together too. So, what to do, as a family?
We [...]

I had a crap day at work, today. Everything I touched just seemed to go wrong.
I left late and then had a 2hr journey home on the motorway to contend with thanks to another bloody accident.
Speaking to the missus on the phone, she said that she and the kids would probably be in bed when [...]

Today was to be “Shed Erection Day”.
My sister has bought a bloody great big shed and rather like anything purchased from Ikea - except the Swedish meatballs - it comes flat-packed and needs to be put together. I hasten to add that the shed didn’t come from Ikea. I don’t know if they even do [...]

I took Amelia and Harry to a children’s birthday party yesterday. It was held at a local open farm.
Once the kids had tired of stroking the rabbits and feeding the lambs, we all went inside, where they had one of those indoor playgrounds, and our little party of a dozen 5 to 8 year-olds spent [...]

I had to scold Amelia yesterday.
She had written “Don’t come in my room. Because I said so.” on her bedroom door, in marker pen. Not on a piece of paper stuck to the door, but on the actual paintwork.
As I attacked the graffiti with a cloth and some white spirit, I had a right go [...]

I returned home from work yesterday evening, to an empty house: Mrs M had taken the mini-Mashers swimming.
I went upstairs and changed out of my work clothes, then came down again.
Just as I reached the bottom step, I heard my mobile phone ring and turned to go back upstairs to retrieve it. Then I realised [...]

Yesterday was the sixth anniversary of the death of my mother.
I hadn’t even realised it until I spoke to my sister on the phone and she said she was on her way to the crematorium to lay some flowers.
I’ve never done that.  Ever.  The laying flowers thing.
I visited my grandfather’s gravestone once, as a mark [...]

This week saw Harry’s 5th birthday and yesterday, we threw a party for him.
As he’d invited every kid in his class, we hired the local church hall to hold it in. On Friday night, I picked up the keys from the caretaker. “Ahh, yes” he said, thumbing through his diary, “you have it booked for [...]

Holiday photos aren’t being catalogued and edited.
Diaries aren’t being typed up.
Why? Jack’s back, that’s why.
Being long-time addicts of the show, the current Mrs Masher and I are currently working our way through the latest offering from Bauer and co.
Four hours worth at a time!
Kids to bed, lights down, surround sound up… sorted.
Only another sixteen hours [...]

We’re off on holiday tomorrow morning.  To Egypt.
Unfortunately, we’re not staying anywhere near the pyramids and, from what I can gather, it’s a fair old ride from our resort  to go see them. But I shall take my camera, nevertheless, because you never know…
I daresay we’ll see a few Egyptian mummies while we’re there. And [...]

Along with my sister, her boyfriend and daughter, I took the kids to the farm today. Or rather, I should say, A farm, because it’s not the only one around here, I’m sure.
The kids all had a great time, but were probably more interested in the playground than actually seeing the animals.  But, despite [...]

It’s taken a while to put together, but I have finally finished putting my latest holiday diary together, both on paper and now on the web.
Should you wish to be bored by even more of my ramblings, then there is a link over there on the left for you to clicky.
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Be warned, other older diaries [...]

I have just returned from a family barbecue.
As with all barbecues, there was plenty of beer - which I couldn’t drink because I was driving - and plenty of food. More than we could comfortably eat.
Yesterday, I went to a different family barbecue. There was a fair crowd of people gathered there - to greet [...]

The rest of the family return from their holiday today, so, no more lounging around for me.
But, they return to a house that is just as tidy as they left it (marginally tidier, in fact); that still has the same food in the cupboards (I had a lot of takeaways!) and still has the same [...]

… this swine flu.
Had a pretty shit weekend: a headache - the intensity of which I don’t think I’ve ever had before; hot and cold shivers; blocked sinuses. All that.
It was as much as I could do to lay out on the sofa and watch Federer win yet another title.  I was actually rooting for [...]

Nope, that’s not a stock/library photo: that’s my hand holding a packet of the prescription anti-swine-flu drug Tamiflu.
Amelia came home from school yesterday, with a very high temperature and a letter. The letter stated that there have been several confirmed cases of swine-flu within the school and that we should seek medical advice. As [...]