Category Archive: Jolly Japes

Aug 30 2017

Time wasting

I got home from work this evening and made myself a cup of tea before settling down to watch an episode of Star Trek on Netflix. Only two minutes in and the phone rang, so I paused the TV and picked up the phone.  I smiled as I saw the words International Call on the …

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Jul 23 2017

Welsh For A Day

Yesterday, was my future brother-in-law’s Stag do. Coming from the valleys – as he does – and being surrounded by us English taking the piss out of him all the time (yakki dar), we all decided to be Welsh… just for one day. To make him feel at home. And so we went to a …

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Oct 29 2016

No fun

The phone rang earlier and it it wasn’t a number I recognised. I answered it anyway and was greeted with a few seconds of silence before an Indian voice cut in and introduced himself as Alex from Microsoft. “Excellent, a scammer”, I thought, “Haven’t had one of these for ages.” and I readied myself for …

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Oct 25 2016

Our M6 correspondent…

… sent me this, today. Now, I’ve mentioned before (I think), that personalised plates are an affectation of those with money than sense. However, I’d willingly fork out twenty quid to bolt this particular one to my car.  

May 29 2014

Fone fun

The home phone rang Saturday afternoon. The caller display showed “International – Unknown”, so straight away I knew it was going to be something dodgy. I answered it and was immediately greeted with two seconds of silence, before an Indian voice told me his name was Dilip and he was calling from the Accident Claims …

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Feb 10 2014

The time I was a Fitness Manager… for one day

Many years ago, I spent a month in California, staying with a pen friend. A British ex-pat; she was spontaneous, mildly eccentric (which is how we had become friends in the first place, but I won’t go into that right now) and was always great fun to be around. She lived in Santa Cruz and …

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Feb 08 2014

An open letter to Sainsbury’s

Sirs, I visited your Bramingham Store in Luton yesterday, in order to purchase my lunch. Whilst there, I found myself perusing your wares in – what you call – your Technology Section: tellies, iPods, iPads, PVRs, etc. And I couldn’t help noticing the display that you had put up to showcase your range of televisions. …

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Jul 23 2012

Limpic Games

I took the kids down to Brighton on Saturday, visiting family. Each July, my cousin Dan and his lovely wife, Helena, host a summer barbecue for friends and family. They’ve been doing this for about ten years now and each year gets slightly bigger and more elaborate. As well as copious amounts of food and …

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Jun 15 2012

Not growing up

In my hotel room, earlier this week, I could hear some noises outside, below my bedroom window.  There was a male voice and a female one and a clattering noise that sounded a bit like a tamborine. Intrigued – and being very nosey – I tried to have a look, but the safety cable prevented …

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May 23 2012

Twatery fowls

This week, I thought I’d forego giving you a picture of the view from my room as I’m in the same hotel as last week but in the room next door. The view is pretty much exactly the same. Instead, here is a picture of the inside of my room, or at least part of …

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Jan 31 2008

The District Line gets all the fun

If we had a bit more stuff like this on the train, I wouldn’t be so inclined to nod off. Nice to see the Great British public showing their normal reserve and looking suitably unimpressed. Personally I thought it brilliant. Nothing like that ever happens on the snoozy Thameslink.

Sep 20 2007

Shiver me timbers

Arrr… yesterday be International Talk Like A Pirate Day. And I missed it. Again. So, I give you my bestest pirate joke today instead: Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrr. *I’ll get me plank*

Apr 26 2007

Could you tell me how to get to…

This made me laugh out loud – it seems Google’s programmers have a sense of humour. 1. go to 2. click on ‘maps’ 3. click on ‘get directions’ 4. type “New York” in the first box (the ‘from’ box) 5. type “London” in the second box (the ‘to’ box) (click on ‘Get directions’) 6.On …

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Apr 24 2007

And now for something completely different… again

Yesterday, In Trafalgar Square, I helped to set a new world record: along with 4000 other like-minded idiots, I sang Monty Python’s ‘Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life’, whilst banging two halves of coconut together. I met up with Spratters and Dr PM (who sadly didn’t make it in time to get any …

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Mar 16 2007

Red Nose Day

So, what I am I doing for RND? Well, not a great deal really. I’ve dropped a few coins in a few collecting buckets, and that’s about it. Some people have put in some real effort though. Mike is one of them. He has compiled a list of 100 humourous British Blog posts and made …

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Feb 17 2007


I was watching some kids play in the park today, when I found myself wondering why it is that a frisbee looks bigger the nearer it gets to you. And then it hit me.

Dec 07 2006

Every little helps… part 4

I posted several entries on the old site, regarding our rather childish antics at our local Tesco’s in Hemel, where we had been posting our own inane comments on their comments board, under the name of Arthur Pewty. These comments stayed on the board for many weeks and we occasionally noticed people reading them and …

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