I’m very tired: I’ve had two hours sleep, out of the last 36.
We had some problems at work, which meant I had to stay on a bit longer.  Luckily, we managed to get it sorted, but it made it too late to go back to my hotel and have a snooze and a shower before [...]

Following a somewhat huge bill for gas and electric last month, I decided to look at ways of saving a few quid.
One way, was to sign up for British Gas’  EnergySmart scheme. The main advantage of this, is that you take the meter reading yourself each month and then enter it on the British Gas [...]

My stay oop north got extended by a day, due to a faulty piece of equipment delaying the schedule.
As I hadn’t planned on this extended delay, I only brought a single change of clothing. So, this morning I had a couple of hours to spare and decided I’d go shopping and get myself a clean [...]

I returned home from work yesterday evening, to an empty house: Mrs M had taken the mini-Mashers swimming.
I went upstairs and changed out of my work clothes, then came down again.
Just as I reached the bottom step, I heard my mobile phone ring and turned to go back upstairs to retrieve it. Then I realised [...]

OK, so it’s not the best snowman in the world. I’m not the creative type and that took me bloody ages to build. Especially with the kids hampering helping me.
Last night was officially the coldest night in the UK since 10,000 BC. When I came down this morning, it felt decidedly nippy in the [...]

The building that I currently work in has been allowed to fall into disrepair. Most of the staff have been relocated and there are just a couple of us contractors left, tasked with the removal of the technical kit. Oh, and of course the ‘Ring Of Steel’ that is our security guard, Tony. He’ll be [...]

I saw a van on the motorway yesterday morning. It was bedecked in the livery of a particular stationery company in Milton Keynes. Nothing unusual there, except that it reminded me of the time - many years ago when I worked for the telecoms behemoth that is now BT - when I had to go [...]

I had one of those “D’oh!” moments yesterday when I filled up with petrol at the garage.
Yep: petrol.
As you’ve probably already realised, like most maritime vessels, my car takes diesel.
Fortunately, I didn’t completely fill the tank and had only put in 11 litres before I realised my mistake. But it was still 11 litres of [...]

Anyone listening to BBC Radio London yesterday afternoon, would have heard my not-so-dulcet tones on the Danny Baker show.
Normally, I’ll email in the occasional contribution to the show, but yesterday, having heard him pose a question as I drove home, I decided to be brave and actually phone in.
One of the eighteen 19-year olds answered [...]

There is nothing stickier and more difficult to remove from your fingers, mobile phone, spectacles and anything else you may have chosen to put in your coat pocket, than a melted Fox’s Glacier Mint.
Just thought you should know.

I think have regaled you with this anecdote before now, but it was sometime back and on the old site. Last Friday, Danny Baker breathed new life into it on his afternoon show, so I thought it worth sharing with you again.
Some years back, I was fitting some built-in wardrobes in the bedroom - [...]

Having not had any kip for 42 hours, I was hoping for a good night’s sleep last night.
It wasn’t to be.
Little Harry has had a cough for the last couple of days. Last night it suddenly worsened and he was having a terrible time of it. It became evident that he was having breathing difficulties, [...]

I took my bike out for a spin yesterday afternoon.
It certainly wasn’t my prefered riding weather and to be honest, I only took her out because she needed a run, having sat in the garage for several weeks now.
As it was, the battery was nearly flat and I had to jump her from the car [...]

A brown enveloped missive dropped onto my doormat this morning.
It was from Thames Valley Police, telling me how pleased they are to slap a further three points on my driving licence. Couple that with the Fixed Penalty (is it still sixty quid?) to swell their coffers and I’m sure they must be well chuffed.
I’d been [...]

I had my car valeted yesterday afternoon.
Driving it today, it felt slightly different. The accelerator pedal felt minutely further away than usual. My sitting position felt minutely more reclined than usual. It was obvious that the seat had been moved and had been put back in not quite the same position. But it didn’t bother [...]

A crop circle - a very good one, I might add - has appeared in a field not far from where I live.
Of course, the local media have decended upon it with vigour and on the local radio this morning they had a “crop circle expert”: a man who has been studying these ‘phenomena’ for [...]

I’ll say my goodbyes now just in case we don’t get another opportunity.
Thank you all for reading and thanks for the comments.
It’s been fun.

There is a big roundabout at the end of the slip road for junction 10 on the M1. Getting onto that roundabout during peak times in the morning is a real pain: cars stream from the motorway at high speed, straight across the roundabout, making it very difficult to get out.
This morning was no different. [...]

Buoyed with the success of fixing my car radio, I decided to have a further attempt at sorting out another piece of technology in the car, that had failed on me.
The intermittent windscreen wipe function is automatically controlled by a rain sensor, attached to the windscreen behind the rear view mirror. It worked very well… [...]

“Oh shit!” I said, as I went into my study this morning to sit down at the computer.
There, propped up against the monitor, was a card in an envelope. With my name on it.
My mind quickly raced through the possibilities:
Birthday? No.
Christmas? Don’t be daft!
Valentines Day? Don’t do that.
Wedding Anniversary? What’s the date? It’s July first. [...]

The office where I work has no broadband. In fact it has no internet of any kind. The only phone line is a crappy BT one that is so noisy that any modem connected to it gives up faster than Amy Winehouse on a booze break.
But, I urgently needed to send an email today and [...]

When walking along with the wife and kids, what does one do when an ex-girlfriend is seen approaching from the other direction?
The more confident will be open and honest and will introduce them “Wife, this is my ex-girlfriend from a time before I met you. Ex-girlfriend, this is my charming wife and two children.”
The less [...]

My car has built-in parking sensors.
They work very well.
But I probably rely on them a little too much.
The wife’s car doesn’t have parking sensors.
Which would explain why, stupidly, I reversed it into a concrete pillar yesterday.
Ouch.
Ouch to the tune of over a thousand pounds.
She’s not happy with me.
I can tell.

I was emailed a list of funnies from computer support desks, the other day - we’ve all seen them: the lady who phoned up to complain that her printer wasn’t working… “Is it running under Windows?” “No, it’s next to the door. Does that make a difference?”
You know the sort of thing.
It got me [...]

Some years back, I met a bloke at work, Peter. He’d come in to work on a particular project. and I was required to work alongside him in order to bring the project to fruition. We got on famously: he was a nice bloke with a good sense of humour.
It was several days though, before [...]

We’d put the savages into Kid’s Club for a couple of hours so we could have a little quiet time on our own.
The moon shone brightly, casting shimmering, silvery reflections on the large swimming pool, as we walked - hand in hand, drink in the other - slowly around it.
As well as the moon doing [...]

The eagle-eyed amongst you may have noticed that I’ve been ‘offline’ for a couple of days.
Here’s a top tip: if you own your own domain name, it’s always better to put down an administrative contact email address that you are actually contactable upon, rather than the one that you sold to the BBC for a [...]

You know when you put something down… and five minutes later you can’t find it, even though you are 100% sure you know that you put it there?
That happened to me earlier today with my torch. I found it later… in a completely different place, obviously.
But it reminded me of the time some years [...]