Category: Travel

Aug 21 2017

Sprachen ze lingo?

Well, I’m back from la belle France… and what a wonderful time it was too. A bit too hot for my liking, but an enjoyable getaway, nonetheless. I’ve been to french France many times over the years and whenever I go, I’ll always have a go at speaking the language, because I’m told that they …

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Aug 11 2017

Paucity of posts

I know, I know… I haven’t written anything here for ages. As a result, I’ve had complaints. But, it happens: sometimes, my blogging mojo just ups and leaves me. But it usually comes back. Eventually. So, what’s been happening in the Masher household during this lack of posts? Bugger all, that’s what. The mutt is …

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May 13 2017

Alliterative Arses

Spending the amount of time that I do, driving on the M1 and around the M25, I tend see some terrible driving. I may have mentioned this before. Once. On many occasions, the offenders tend to be young lads in VW Golfs, who think they own the road, but of course, I should mention that …

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Mar 26 2017

Spring has sprung…

… the grass is riz… It most definitely is, because I cut it yesterday! There are many things to indicate that Spring has arrived: plants; animals; insects, all sticking their heads out. Buzzy bees buzzing around; the daffodils and crocuses (crocii?) in full bloom and an increase in the amount of roadkill littering the lanes, …

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Feb 26 2017


Did you know that it’s actually safe and legal to drive at high speed on the hard shoulder, if it is empty and the three lanes of the motorway are at a standstill, so long as you put your hazard lights on. No, I didn’t know that either. But I know it must be true, because I have seen …

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Feb 21 2017

It’s a man thing

Miami Airport is a sprawling mass of buildings and tarmac and terminals and gates. The quickest way to get from one side to the other, is to take the Skytrain – a kind of shuttle that whisks along the outside of the terminuseseses. It’s only a couple of minutes journey, but as I sat there …

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Feb 20 2017

Driven to distraction

Last year, I bought a new car, because my old one was starting to show its age and – at 175,000 miles – was starting to cost me money on servicing and such. My new car is nothing special, just a Ford Focus – with an automatic gearbox for driving on that goddamn M25 each …

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Feb 19 2017

Shaking it all about

Long haul always does my head in. We are home now, and I have just been up to Sainsbury’s to get some essentials. It felt like it was mid-afternoon and I was surprised to see it was only half-past eleven and it’s strange to think that less than 24hrs ago we were on Ocean Drive. …

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Feb 18 2017

Coming home

This post comes to you courtesy of the 30 mins free WiFi at Miami airport…  so I’d better type quickly! Well,  we are now at the airport after spending several hours on a couple of open-topped bus tours around the city. I always enjoy guided tours,  and this one was no exception. After,  as it …

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Feb 17 2017

Hotter than a monkey’s bum, Your Majesty

Today’s post comes to you from the Bahamas. About an hour ago,  the ship docked in the port of Nassau.  Bloody amazing to watch it being parked, as it had to be reversed in. I struggle reversing my car into a space sometimes,  but this ‘kin huge vessel just effortlessly backed in to the dock …

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Feb 16 2017


Today we are having a day at sea.  I’m quite pleased really,  as it will give us a chance to relax –  the last few days have felt a bit hectic. Much to Mrs Masher’s annoyance,  the weather is rather overcast, so she can’t do any sunbathing. Unlike me,  she doesn’t do much reading and …

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Feb 15 2017

Underlay, underlay

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Feb 14 2017

Just checking my offshore accounts

We have just left the Cayman Islands. Man,  is it hot here!  As I write this,  I am in the cabin,  with the balcony door closed and the air conditioning turned down a notch.  I need some respite. We have been on an off road tour of part of the island of Grand Cayman. Mrs …

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Feb 12 2017


Well,  we’ve had a bit of a walk around Miami. Seems nice enough. And we are now on a boat. The MSC Divina,  if you must know.  I believe it featured on telly on Friday on Channel Five,  with Jayne McDonald; that bird who used to sing on boats for a living. Anyway,  it’s an …

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Feb 11 2017

I can’t see any Dolphins

Our flight was long and uneventful. The queue at Passport Control was also long and uneventful.  It took an age. Our pre-booked taxi was way too small,  despite them being told that it was for a fully-loaded family of four,  and I struggled to get the suitcases in the back.  Our driver,  Alex,  didn’t even …

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Feb 10 2017

Leaving on a jet plane

Well,  here we are at Heathrow airport.  And it it manically busy.  I know it’s the busiest airport in the world,  but even so. I’m currently sitting in the departure lounge,  availing myself of Heathrow’s free WiFi.  Our flight has been delayed,  but fortunately only by half an hour. And we have just learned that …

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Feb 09 2017

Outta here

This post comes to you courtesy of the Wi-Fi at a Premier Inn down near Heathrow. Because we are going on holiday. And that wasn’t the royal ‘we’… no, the whole family are going. Of course, when I say ‘the whole family’, I don’t mean my entire family, because that would be just mad. Look, me …

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Feb 08 2017

Catch me if you can

I often see – on my travels – Loomis, G4 and Securicor (are they still going?) vans with a sign on the back telling the police to follow them. And yet, I have never once seen a police vehicle actually following one of these vans. Or is it a warning to potential bad guys that …

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Feb 06 2017

Best laid plans

Today at work, I have been out and about. Leaving home at 05:45, I soon found myself stationary on the M1, due to a broken down lorry. Once past that, I was then stationary again, thanks to an accident closing one lane. I’d only gone two junctions! Of course, I was then late hitting the …

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Feb 03 2017

Motorway madness

Some years ago, they (whoever they are) did some extensive work, adding an extra lane to a large stretch of the M1. From junction 10 all the way down to the M25 turn off at junction 7. Two years it took, but it was worth it, because it made a big difference to the traffic …

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Nov 29 2016

There’s a BAFTA on it’s way, I’m sure of it

Last Friday, I was ‘working’ in that London and so I decided to “let the train take the strain”… that’s an old British Rail advert, as I remember. Anyway, it’s been a while since I travelled into that London by train, for work purposes, and I’d forgotten just how busy it gets, but luckily, getting on …

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Oct 25 2016

Our M6 correspondent…

… sent me this, today. Now, I’ve mentioned before (I think), that personalised plates are an affectation of those with money than sense. However, I’d willingly fork out twenty quid to bolt this particular one to my car.  

Oct 17 2016

It’s been so long…

… since I wrote here last, that I actually struggled to remember my log in password!   So, what has been happening? Not much really, hence the dearth of posts. I’ve been to a couple of family functions in ye olde Ruislip: a funeral and a 50th wedding anniversary (I was a page boy at …

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Aug 20 2016


Mrs Masher has gone. And she’s taken the kids with her. There was nothing I could have said or done that would have prevented her leaving. So I didn’t. It’s now five in the morning, and an hour ago, I watched them disappear into the night, in the back of a taxi. So, now I’m …

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Jul 05 2016

Out of touch

I left my phone(s) at home yesterday when I went to work. This is something I’ve done a little too frequently, but luckily, I normally notice when I’m just a few minutes down the road. But not yesterday. Yesterday, I realised I was phoneless when I was about halfway through my two-hour journey to work. …

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Jul 03 2016

Two-wheel triumph

Today, I have been out riding with a police motorcyclist. The feds do a Ride Safe scheme, y’see, where you go out for a ride and a police motorcyclist – on his police bike and wearing all his police garb – follows you closely and then afterward he critiques your riding performance. And it’s all …

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Jun 29 2016

29. My All Time Favourite Song

Ask me that on my death bed, because I might have an answer then. Because things can change. It’s difficult to have a single all-time favourite. I have favourite pop songs; favourite rock songs; favourite classical tunes. But, it’s really hard to pick a single favourite from each category, never mind overall. But, if I …

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Jun 04 2016

4. A Song That Reminds Me Of Somewhere

I was nine years old when I had my first flight on a plane. Mum and dad never had the money back then, to take us on fancy trips to other countries. Margate, Walton-on-the-Naze, Great Yarmouth, Clacton and Weymouth were our holiday destinations back then, with me and my sisters and suitcases and bags all …

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