Category: Me me me

Oct 11 2017

Not Yet Dead

Looking at the sad lack of posts on this here site, one could be forgiven for thinking that I have shuffled off this mortal coil. But that’s not the case. Things have been happening, I’ve just not bothered mentioning them here. So what have I been up to? Well, my garage had an attempted break-in …

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Aug 25 2017

Car Insurance

My car insurance renewal came through the letterbox today. I was taken aback somewhat to see that it had gone up… by 54% FIFTY-FOUR PERCENT! That’s just mad. It sent me a little giddy, to be honest. Once I’d regained my composure, I read further down the letter. “Relax”, it said. “You don’t need to …

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Jun 24 2017

Get out of my ear!

I’ve got an ear-worm. I hate that term. It sounds like some sort of gross infection. I prefer to call it “I’ve got a song stuck in my head”. Which I have. I don’t know where it came from, but Ultravox’s hit, Vienna, somehow made its way into my consciousness some weeks back. I managed …

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Jun 09 2017

It’s the drink talking

Last night I went to the pub, for one of our regular BT Curry Night get-togethers. It’s the first one I’ve been to for quite a while now: sometimes, by the time I’ve struggled home from work on the motorway(s), I just can’t be bothered to go out again, despite knowing that I’ll have a …

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May 01 2017

“Hooray, hooray, the first of May…

… outdoor fucking begins today.” So sang Shag Larkin, a radio engineer that I had the good fortune to know, many years ago. I’d oft wondered where the phrase came from, and so today, I have looked it up. It seems it’s a traditional folk song. Anyway. And in other news… Well, it seems there isn’t …

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Apr 02 2017

Being social

“Ha ha! Look Dad”, said Amelia, flashing her phone in front of my face for a second, before snatching it away again. “I’ve found my teacher on Instagram.” I cast her one of my ‘not impressed’ looks, as I continued to wash the breakfast things. “You know all that social media crap doesn’t interest me …

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Mar 26 2017

Spring has sprung…

… the grass is riz… It most definitely is, because I cut it yesterday! There are many things to indicate that Spring has arrived: plants; animals; insects, all sticking their heads out. Buzzy bees buzzing around; the daffodils and crocuses (crocii?) in full bloom and an increase in the amount of roadkill littering the lanes, …

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Mar 19 2017

Getting old

Many of the people I work with in the office are of a younger generation. Whilst I’m not yet in my dotage, I have, several times, noticed that I am the eldest in the room, in whatever meeting it is I am attending. Over the past year, the fact that I am older than most …

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Mar 14 2017

To let

The office where I work, is currently having a refurbishment. This has caused quite an upheaval, as whole departments have had to up-sticks and relocate in other parts of the building, whilst their section is being overhauled. It’s like we are playing musical offices, or something. But, everyone is mucking in and sitting on each …

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Feb 27 2017

Heavy breather

Many years ago, when I was roughly half the age I am now, I visited our family doctor as I had a wheezy chest. He diagnosed me as having asthma. Personally, I never felt that I was asthmatic, but well, I’m not a doctor. As the years passed, I have had to visit the doctor …

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Feb 25 2017

Close shave

Having a shave is a pain in the arse. Which means that I’m probably doing it wrong. I don’t enjoy shaving. It’s a bind. But I have to do it, because I’m not man enough to grow a beard and I don’t look good with stubble: less like David Beckham and rather more like a …

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Feb 24 2017

Happy Friday!

When I worked in cable TV, back in the nineties and early noughties, I spent some time working with Little Jo – so called because her name was Jo… and she was quite short. Little Jo had a similar sense of humour to me and we got on quite well as a result. One day …

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Feb 23 2017

High expectations

This evening, Mrs Masher and I had to visit Amelia’s school, for an open evening to discuss Amelia’s ‘options’. This is where she has to pick which subjects she wants to study during the remainder of her school years. Obviously, it’s wise to pick not only subjects that one might be interested in, but ones that …

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Feb 21 2017

It’s a man thing

Miami Airport is a sprawling mass of buildings and tarmac and terminals and gates. The quickest way to get from one side to the other, is to take the Skytrain – a kind of shuttle that whisks along the outside of the terminuseseses. It’s only a couple of minutes journey, but as I sat there …

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Feb 07 2017

Slave to the tech

I was awake early today. Mainly because the alarm went off at 4am for Mrs M to get her arse out of bed. Now, like many people, I have a routine in the morning. And that routine doesn’t include getting up at 4am. But I’m not one for being able to go back to sleep, …

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Feb 05 2017

Nearly an armful

I’m a blood donor. I give blood. And I gave some yesterday. I have to admit, it’s been a while since last I donated.  I knew that it had been some time, but I was actually shocked when the nurse informed me that it had been over a year since I last stepped foot inside …

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Feb 03 2017

Motorway madness

Some years ago, they (whoever they are) did some extensive work, adding an extra lane to a large stretch of the M1. From junction 10 all the way down to the M25 turn off at junction 7. Two years it took, but it was worth it, because it made a big difference to the traffic …

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Jan 31 2017

Hey! Guess what day it is tomorrow!

Yep, it’s that time of year again. Twenty-eight days of posts. Every time I do this self-imposed challenge, I think it’s going to be incredibly difficult, but ultimately, it generally turns out to be easier than I’d thought it would be. Hopefully, this year will be the same because, at the moment, the task ahead …

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Jan 24 2017


It’s not just my PC that has been ill (all sorted now, by the way), but the family as well. In fact, there appears to be a pandemic, as so many people seem to be ill at the moment. Harry was ill earlier in the week, with a cough and a high temperature, so we …

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Jan 08 2017

Dry January

December was quite a hectic month, what with Christmas and New Year’s Eve an’ all. I had three Xmas parties in all, plus a birthday bash, Christmas Day itself and the traditional New Years’ Eve riot at my dad’s house. I probably hadn’t, but, I felt like I’d had more food and drink in one month, than …

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Dec 31 2016


Once again, I’ve been overlooked in the New Year Honours list. I’ll be honest: it upsets me a little. I mean, even Posh Spice got one this year. Yes! Posh Spice! For services to… being a skinny, sour-faced, multi-millionaire. Probably. Oh well, maybe next time. Happy New Year to you both.

Nov 05 2016

Tish Tash

This month is Movember. Yes, I spelt that correctly: Movember. So called, because it calls upon all men to grow a moustache. For charity. Now, I’ve done many things for charity, over the years. I’ve walked and I’ve cycled and I’ve abseiled and I’ve jumped out of aeroplanes. I’ve even sat in a bath of …

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Oct 28 2016

Drilling for gold

I went to the dentist today. The receptionist smiled at me as I approached the desk. “Can I help you?” “Yes. The name’s Masher. I have an appointment at 8:30 with Miss Patel”. She looked at her screen quizzically for a moment and then: “Ahh yes, here you are. Could you confirm your date of …

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Oct 17 2016

It’s been so long…

… since I wrote here last, that I actually struggled to remember my log in password!   So, what has been happening? Not much really, hence the dearth of posts. I’ve been to a couple of family functions in ye olde Ruislip: a funeral and a 50th wedding anniversary (I was a page boy at …

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Aug 09 2016

Taste Test Tuesday

Working for the water board, as I now do, and having seen what goes into providing clean, safe drinking water to the populace, I find myself advocating tap water over mineral water, more and more. In truth, I used to do this anyway, long before I was actually involved with the wet stuff. I’m an …

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Jul 20 2016

Innit hot?

Right, that’s enough talk about the weather. Regular readers will be aware of me using my blog to rant and rave and moan about the pigeons shitting on my car, on numerous occasions. Both of you may even remember me saying that if I had half a chance, I’d kill the little blighters. Well… On Saturday, …

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Jul 05 2016

Out of touch

I left my phone(s) at home yesterday when I went to work. This is something I’ve done a little too frequently, but luckily, I normally notice when I’m just a few minutes down the road. But not yesterday. Yesterday, I realised I was phoneless when I was about halfway through my two-hour journey to work. …

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Jul 03 2016

Two-wheel triumph

Today, I have been out riding with a police motorcyclist. The feds do a Ride Safe scheme, y’see, where you go out for a ride and a police motorcyclist – on his police bike and wearing all his police garb – follows you closely and then afterward he critiques your riding performance. And it’s all …

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